My name is Self-Appointed Expert, and this is my blog. It is part memoir, mostly fiction, and above all just trying to be funny. Some of is based on stuff that happened to me, some is based on stuff that happened to people I know, and a good deal is just entirely made up. So, if you find yourself offended, just remember - it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke. Consider it my homage to the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, A Million Little Pieces, John Hodgman, and Christopher Guest.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Week in Review

Sorry to be MIA the last week. I'll make it up to you later. For now, here's a potpurri of updates:

(1) Saw Superman Returns. I thought it was great, despite me not having any idea where he was supposed to be returning from (as I've never seen any of the original Supermen flicks). Little known fact: the same scorewriter composed the themes to Superman Returns, Indiana Jones, and Star Wars. Try humming them all in a row. It's impossible.

(2) Saw Devil Wears Prada. It was entertaining, but also infuriating. The movie's theme, in a nutshell, is that women can't be successful both at work and at home, so they should really just give up and stay at home. What's even worse is that they had a throw-away line where Anne Hathaway's character said something along the lines of "No one would criticize the devil lady if she were a man - they'd just focus on how successful she was." From there, they proceed to emphasize over and over that you can't have a career and a personal life if you're a chick. (Or effeminate male.) Also? Her job was not that bad. Having to answer the phone during dinner is not the end of the world. Finally - Is Anna Hathaway ever going to do a movie where she doesn't start out with ratty hair and end up with sleek hair? We get it. You look better with a straightening iron. Now fucking try acting.

(3) Saw Jason Alexander host the fireworks in DC. Quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen on TV this year? The moment where Jason sings a neaveau spiritual about "freedom" with the help of a group of about 15 fifth-to-eighth graders. It was hilarious. None of them matched. No uniforms, no color scheme. It looked like Jason had walked up to a softball field and recruited the infield. All in all, it was a great show. Nothing like a whiny sniveling superficial neurotic self-centered cheap hardhearted stupid New Yorker to symbolize everything I love about America.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang your head in shame, not knowing where Superman came from! And FYI, the composer for Returns ain't Mr Williams, the original dude. Returns' composer is John Ottman.

:)

2:54 AM

 

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