My name is Self-Appointed Expert, and this is my blog. It is part memoir, mostly fiction, and above all just trying to be funny. Some of is based on stuff that happened to me, some is based on stuff that happened to people I know, and a good deal is just entirely made up. So, if you find yourself offended, just remember - it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke. Consider it my homage to the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, A Million Little Pieces, John Hodgman, and Christopher Guest.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Jacket and Tie Not Required

New job this week - so far, so good. But among all the attributes of the new place that I like, by far its best quality is...the business casual dress policy. I know, it's pretty amazing that just one single pair of khakis could have such a significant improvement on the quality of my life, and really sort of sad, but here we are.

Apparently, the trend towards biz-cas in New York really got started after the investment bankers dropped the suit, and the law firms followed. The only problem with this arrangement is that while bankers and counsel are now in khakis and polos, New York's finer dining establishments still expect a more traditional attire. The result is that while most people dress up to go to work, I dress up to go to lunch when I go to work. It's kind of absurd, but mostly awesome.

Other observations based on my short time in the big city:
(1) I love walking to work. It makes me so unbelievably happy. We're talking quantities of happy here that are comparable only to the levels of soul-crushing depression formerly caused to me by having to commute on the subway. Some people think that living right where you work is depressing, since you never really leave work. These people apparently don't mind the stench of 150 bodies vying for the same space in a 200 square foot tube for 55 minutes every morning.
(2) NYC is more convenient than DC. On may way to work at DC, I had to transfer trains to get to an ATM, make a special trip to find a Starbucks, order groceries off the internet, and walk past two homeless shelters. In the ten blocks between my apt and my office in NYC, I pass three Banks of Americas, 3 Starbucks, about 100 restaurants, and 3 grocery stores (not counting no fewer than 5 outdoor fruit and veggie stands). And an Anne Taylor, Banana Republic, Bebe, and Gap. And no hobos. (Which is such a relief - if there's one thing I don't need right now, it's rebound hobo sex.)
(3) New York is one of the few cities where being single is the norm. Sort of scarily so, in fact. My first day here I saw two people holding copies of the "Dummie's Guides to Divorce." Frankly, when it comes to divorce, I'm glad to remain a dummie. But, really, I feel the same way about marriage, so who am I to complain.
(4) Too many of my friends live in Brooklyn. Seriously, you're not 40 and you're not still living at home. You owe yourself a bed in Manhattan. I say this as a girl who has been in New York for approximately 15 minutes, and a resident of tiny rural towns throughout the South for about 15 years. Brooklyn is BFE.
(5) Both foie gras and Tasti D-Lite are disgusting. Albeit for entirely different reasons, both taste like crap.

All in all, I'm happy to report that I couldn't be happier. Here's hoping that the actual working at the firm doesn't muck things up too badly.


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