My name is Self-Appointed Expert, and this is my blog. It is part memoir, mostly fiction, and above all just trying to be funny. Some of is based on stuff that happened to me, some is based on stuff that happened to people I know, and a good deal is just entirely made up. So, if you find yourself offended, just remember - it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke. Consider it my homage to the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, A Million Little Pieces, John Hodgman, and Christopher Guest.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Pray for us non-sinners now.

Some people think it's slutty to be on birth control when you're not in a relationship. I think it's the only way to really protect gainst immaculate conception.

Seriously, the threat is real. It happened one time to a girl I know.

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