My name is Self-Appointed Expert, and this is my blog. It is part memoir, mostly fiction, and above all just trying to be funny. Some of is based on stuff that happened to me, some is based on stuff that happened to people I know, and a good deal is just entirely made up. So, if you find yourself offended, just remember - it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke. Consider it my homage to the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, A Million Little Pieces, John Hodgman, and Christopher Guest.

Monday, May 08, 2006

They should call it the Brutus Salad.

Dear Cambridge Commons,

Your caesar salad sucks. How do you fuck up a caesar salad? All you do is (1) chop some lettuce, (2) toss in some dressing, and (3) whip out some croutons. And part (3) is optional!

In conclusion, not only do your caesar salads suck, but you suck, too. I hate you, Cambridge Commons. I hate you like I hate people who are different from me.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

back to entries about food - my favorite!

8:49 PM

Anonymous Justin said...

i agree wholeheartedly. if, that is, you substitute "caesar salad" for "Mom."

why didn't you breastfeed me, mother?! i coulda been a contender!!!!

5:41 PM


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