My name is Self-Appointed Expert, and this is my blog. It is part memoir, mostly fiction, and above all just trying to be funny. Some of is based on stuff that happened to me, some is based on stuff that happened to people I know, and a good deal is just entirely made up. So, if you find yourself offended, just remember - it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke. Consider it my homage to the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, A Million Little Pieces, John Hodgman, and Christopher Guest.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The last 5 min: a true story.

In another shocking development in the war between me and my likes-to-have-very-loud-sex neighbor, 5 minutes ago I heard my neighbor doing the nasty - so (obviously) I looked out my peephole and tried to listen at my door. (If they're going to be that loud, they deserve to be shamed - if passively.) Anyhow, I don't hear anything more, so I step away from the door for a minute, then decide to take out my trash. In the 2 minutes between their orgasm and my gathering of the trash, my neighbor has opened his door and placed in the hallway outside of his room two items: a small doormat sized rug and an industrial vacuum cleaner.


Blogger allendrury said... thinks there is more to story........

6:31 PM


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